Top 7 Idiots of 2006

The very last sentence is frightening and just might
explain why the world is in the mess it is.


Number One Idiot of 2006

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
Toxicology at the poison control center. Today,
This woman called in very upset because she
Caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly
reassured her that the ants are not harmful and
There would be no need to bring her daughter into
The hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her
Daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
Ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter
Into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

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Number Two Idiot of 2006

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the
Airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the
747s. They were successful in getting it out of the
Plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float
On the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter
Coming towards them. It turned out that the
Chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint
Might run.

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Number Three Idiot of 2006

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your
Muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to
Give his note to the teller, he began to worry that
Someone had seen him write the note and might
Call police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the
Street to the Wells Fargo Bank.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his
Note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and,
Surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
Brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could
Not accept his stickup note because it was written
On a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would
Either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or
Go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat
defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was
Arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in
Line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably
Couldn't read it anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2006

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated
Speed trap that measured his speed using radar
And photographed his car. He later received in the
Mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
Of payment, he sent the police department a
Photograph of $40. Several days later, he received
A letter from the police that cont ained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately
Mailed in his $40.

Smartass... but you still get a sign

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Number Five Idiot of 2006

A guy walked into a little corner store with a
Shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the
Cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in
a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he
Wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the
Cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
Refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are
Over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still
Refused to give it to him because she didn't believe
Him. At this point, the robber took his driver's
License out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man
Was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the
bag. The robber then ran from the store with his
Loot. The cashier promptly called the police and
Gave the name and address of the robber that she
Got off the license. They arrested the robber two
Hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

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Idiot Number Six of 2006

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
Nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted,
"Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the
Startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
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Idiot Number Seven of 2006

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
Badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder
Block through a liquor store window, grab some
Booze and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
Heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder
Block bounced back knocking him unconscious.

It seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on
Videotape.

Yep, here's your sign

(Please note that all of the above people are
Allowed to vote)